Here’s a kind of interesting story. I’m going to try and make as generic as possible, like the names have been change to protect the innocent, except there really are no innocent in this story, well, maybe at the beginning but not once we became adults.
I had friends if you can call them that, or maybe more like playmates in Elementary school including one whom I will call Adam. But for some reason he became a bully and I was his target, and his other friends target all the way through 8th grade. And it was often 2 or 3 against 1. I hated Adam pretty much all of my life. Even 40 years later I would sometimes imagine doing something to him to ruin his life.
Well this is problem for me, because I am always talking about and writing about forgiveness and how it sets you free not the person who wronged you. I never really think about or thought about Adam very often, maybe once a year or so for some reason he would pop into my head, and I would imagine him in a wheelchair for the rest of his life.
There are a half dozen or so others who have wronged me over the years and I’ve been able to forgive them and mostly forget, or at least never think about them. But not Adam. I have hated him most of my life, even up until yesterday.
But today, I’ve been thinking over some things, about why people behave the way they do. And it dawned on me, that I don’t know his story. I know he did some very cruel things to me and to others. As far as I know, Adam, is the only person in my life I have trouble forgiving.
Now this is the interesting part. A few months ago, I saw something that amazed me, I saw someone with a somewhat sordid background but a pure heart. And because of said person, I learned to love others with an unconditional love and overlook their shortcomings, maybe for the first time in my life.
How do these 2 stories relate to one another? As I was thinking today about why people behave badly, Adam popped into my head. And I realized I can’t talk about unconditional love and forgiveness unless I can live it myself. I have to forgive Adam. Not because he deserves it, but because I need to be free from all hate and resentment in my life.
Psalm 23 says the Lord prepares a table where my enemies will sit next to me. So, if we, as Christians truly love as God loves, we have to pray that our enemies will make it to the table with us. It is not easy to forgive someone, sometimes it is the hardest thing you will ever do, but it needs to be done if you want a seat at the table.
I sit here tonight convicted of my own unforgiveness for Adam. A few weeks ago, I started saying a little prayer every day. I pray it every day, 2 or 3 times a day. Now in all honesty you won’t see much change in my life or lifestyle on the outside, but it is changing me on the inside. So tonight I want to say that I forgive Adam for being the most cruel person I have ever known, and I hope he makes it to the table too. To the best of my memory, he is the last one.
I hope above all hope, as I sit here writing this, that I am now completely free of any anger, hate, or resentment toward anyone. Please join me in this daily prayer for the Holy Spirit to come and convict us of both sin and righteousness.
Gods By Grace 