TRIGGER WARNING! SENSITIVE SUBJECTS

Some potential triggers or sensitive topics include:

• Childhood trauma and bullying
• Addiction and substance abuse
• Relationship struggles and divorce
• Mental health and emotional pain

I see trapped people, they’re everywhere. They just don’t know that they are trapped. I see people trapped in secrets. I see people trapped in lies. I see people trapped in addictions, bad habits, and vices. Many don’t realize they’re trapped—imprisoned in their own minds—or they’re afraid to be set free because they’ve been captive for so long they’ve grown comfortable in their situation.

The devil convinces them they can never tell the truth about what happened to them or what they did because it will only make things worse. Somehow, they feel guilty or believe they are to blame for what happened. They are afraid to speak the truth and they make up lies to keep it hidden. But Jesus said, “the truth shall set you free.”

But the inner pain never goes away. Guilt and shame become constant companions, making it difficult for them to form meaningful, intimate, committed, or affectionate connections with others. So they turn to drugs, alcohol, and other things to help them cope with the negative feelings and to become comfortably numb. Then, when they get drunk enough, they make bad decisions to feed the intimacy they so crave yet fear at the same time.

My own story goes something like this: from around the age of 10 until I was 18, I faced the most difficult years of my life. I was bullied, I faced rejection, I felt unwanted and unloved. I felt loneliness, dejection, depression and had suicidal thoughts. I never really fit in during my high school years, although I did make a few friends. But where are they now?

The next four years, I spent in college, which had its own cliques and social clubs, and I never really fit in there either—except with a few others who also didn’t fit in. I have made better friends with some of those same people in the past few years than I did in college.

Around the age of 25, I started working and making decent money, more than I needed to pay my bills. At the same time I also made friends with some coworkers with rather questionable backgrounds. Still influenced by the years of rejection and loneliness I discovered certain bad habits for lack of a better word to ease that old deep rooted pain. My new friends were all too happy to indulge with me.

For the next 20 years off an on, I would fall back into these bad habits to ease the pain of loneliness. Fortunately, I wasn’t consumed by them to the point of financial ruin, as many do because of their addictions.

At the age of 46, I met who, at the time, was the most beautiful woman I had ever laid eyes on. A few months later we got married. A few years later we got divorced. So by the age of 50, I had experienced all that life had to offer — both good and bad.

I was trapped in my ways for about 20 years before I finally had enough. Do I still have relationship issues to this day? Yes, but I have overcome my bad habits, I have no secrets, I have no lies to tell, and nothing to hide.

I was a broken child, and a broken child is very hard to mend. I was a broken child — perhaps I still am. A broken child takes a long time to mend, sometimes it takes a lifetime. Please be patient with us.

https://godsbygrace.com/2025/03/15/the-broken-child-is-hard-to-mend/

These are the reasons we ought not to judge others, the reasons we ought to forgive, and the reasons we ought to love one another deeply.

My hope is that my story offers comfort and inspiration to those struggling and reminds them they’re not alone on their journey. To be completely free, we must confess everything to the Father, ask Jesus to help us, and ask to receive the Holy Spirit for guidance and comfort.

If you’re reading this and feel trapped in your own pain or struggles, please know you are not alone, there is hope and healing is possible. It won’t always be easy. Healing starts with small, real steps. Here are some practical things I’ve learned that might help you begin to break free:

1. Find one person you trust and share a little of your story.
You don’t have to tell everything all at once. Just start by opening up about one small truth, whether to a friend, family member, or someone in your church. Speaking the truth—even a little bit—begins to break the chains of secrecy.

2. Don’t be afraid to get help beyond yourself.
Healing often takes more than just willpower. Talking with a counselor, a support group, or a mentor who understands your struggles can give you tools and a safe place to grow. You don’t have to walk this journey alone.

3. Pray and ask Jesus for help every day.
Ask God for strength, courage, and wisdom. Invite the Holy Spirit to guide and comfort you. Sometimes His help is quiet, but it’s real and powerful. Trust that He is with you through every step.

4. Replace the old ways with better habits.
When the pain or loneliness comes, instead of turning to what hurts you, try reaching out to someone, going for a walk, or writing down your thoughts. It won’t fix everything right away, but it starts building new paths toward life.

5. Be patient with yourself.
Healing isn’t a straight line. You might stumble, and that’s okay. What matters is that you keep getting up and moving forward, even if it’s just a small step at a time.

6. Remember that you are deeply loved.
Not because of what you do or don’t do, but simply because you are God’s child. No shame is too big for His grace, and no secret too dark for His light. Hold onto that truth. Keep fighting. Freedom is possible.

Remember, you don’t have to walk this path alone — help is available, and God’s grace is with you every step.